Monday, 17 July 2017

A hypthetical conversation when entering the UK



“Good morning”
“Good morning”
“What brings you to the UK?”
“Visiting friends”
“Where do these friends live?”
“London”
“May I ask how you know these people?”
“Well… I met them in various circumstances. It’s not the same group you know.”
“Various circumstances eh? Alright, who you meeting first?”
“A girl I met in Stockholm”
“Is she Swedish?”
“No, Greek”
“Greek… When was that first meeting taking place?”
“2009 I believe”
“And what brought you to Stockholm?”
“I was doing a summer university in Finland and Estonia”
“Stockholm is neither in Finland nor Estonia”
“Correct. It is on the way to Finland though”
“And when are you supposed to meet her?”
“Now. So you’re holding up a date”
“We’re not done yet. Who else are you meeting?”
“Tonight I am meeting a Dutch guy”
“How do you know this guy?”
“I know him from when I lived in London”
“Ah, you lived in London?”
“Sort of”
“Sort of?”
“They call it an extended business trip”
“How long was that for?”
“First time 10 weeks and second time 9 weeks”
“Right… so you are meeting two different friends in London?”
“No, four”
“Four? Who are the other two?”
“Tomorrow I am meeting a girl”
“Where is she from?”
“From here”
“So she is British?”
“Yes. Half Indian I believe”
“Right. How do you know her?”
“We met in Vietnam last April”
“Vietnam?”
“Yes, Vietnam”
“And what about this fourth person?”
“We used to be flat mates”
“In London?”
“No, in New Delhi”
“New Delhi??”
“Yes. It’s in India, you know”
“I know where New Delhi is. Is this girl Indian?”
“No, she is half Italian half Arab”
“Right. And when did you last see this person?”
“Ehmm. About 8 months ago I believe”
“In London?”
“No, in Hong Kong”
“Hong Kong?? How did that happen?”
“Coincidentally we both were there for work”
“Right. And where are you from? You sound Irish”
“The Netherlands”
“The Netherlands? How come you sound Irish?”
“I guess because I used to live in Dublin for three years”
“So where are you flying from today?”
“Eindhoven, the Netherlands”
“Do you live in Eindhoven?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Whereabouts in the Netherlands do you live then?”
“I don’t live in the Netherlands”
“Where the hell is it that you live??”
“Yangon, Myanmar”
“…..”
“Walk on”

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